I love to read. I used to think I liked to read everything until I got my Kindle and started checking out the free books. (which is like a dream come true...FREE books!!! God bless you, Amazon!) I'm finding though, that I'm much more discriminating that I thought. It seems I pretty much hate everything. There are so many daily free choices that it's like a little piece of heaven and ALL of the writers that I have read have been excellent, however among the treasures, I've found some pretty ridiculous stuff. I suppose there's a market for everything and at least people are READING but some of the content is a bit terrifying!
So apparently, I'm picky. Who knew? As I browse through the free book options, I eliminate most of them right away. I don't like westerns. I'm from Idaho. I've lived westerns. It's not all that appealing. I don't like sci-fi.I don't like near-death experiences. I don't like anything about vampires or werewolves. I don't care about espionage or battles. (Except, Curse The Moon, was awesome!) I won't read anything that has a man wielding a sword on the cover, because...really? I am not interested in learning about hot water heaters (and there are BOOKS out there about them!!!) I dislike fantasy books because I can never pronounce any of the names in the books and to me, people who are blue or green aren't credible characters. I will not read any book that has a person with claws on the cover. I like cookbooks but I don't care about vegan cooking. I'm not into the whole kundalini thing, or meditation or psychics. I won't read anything about chakras and if a book cover has the "coexist" sign on the cover, I'm not going there. I hate anything to do with the paranormal, supernatural and time travel and then...I'm not much interested in romance novels...still qurestioning the existence of romance, altogether.
There are sooo many types of romance novels these days...before, it was mostly Harlequin or historical romance. Now there is a choice of passionate romance, paranormal romance, adult romance or steamy, edgy romance , or mideivel romance. Who cares???? I don't care if the "ripped, tan hero throws a sardonic glance at the voluptuous heroine and tears her bodice with passion". Really? It's the SAME story over and over and over again! I have found one romance author who KNOWS how to tell a true love story. Her name Is Jennifer Theriot and THIS author knows how to write for women. I am addicted! She is the BEST out there and everyone (men AND women) should read her books! Aside from Theriot's real life romance stories, I don't want to read the same, tired romances again and again. It's tedious. But no one can write love like Jennifer Theriot, no one!
What DO I like? I love a good mystery...even horror. (But no demons) Things that could actually happen! A guy hiding in wait for a victim...now there's a story! Tornadoes, earthquakes...any devastating weather event all make a good, intense story. I like anything that makes me check the closet before I go to bed. It makes my heart pound; I love that. I like true crime..real things that have happened...a good biography, truth.
I've gotten some great books on cooking..freezer meals, muffins, gluten-free recipes, smoothies and herbs. Love them! See? I'm reasonable! It's just that books with weird titles don't appeal to me...for example, "The Animal Psychic" (really? No.) Or, I found a title recently and the book was described as follows, "Indiana Jones Meets the DaVinci Code" (ummmm...no)
I am astounded daily at some of the book descriptions I find as I scroll through the options and I'm going to show you what I've found. If these books appeal to you..more power to ya, but I can't bring myself to even try them. These are REAL postings about REAL books. Here we go:
- "Becoming a werewolf is not an option for 17 year old Lacey Quinn, but death can be a strong motivator"
(no thanks...not interested)
- "As one wolf falls another must take his place" (seems kinda reasonable, I guess)
- "Alec's music is as dark as his vampire kiss is deadly" (sorry, Alec...I don't care...maybe you should try some BeeGees))
- "This is the 18th in the continuing saga of Jess Williams" (yawn. Come on Jess, let's be done already)
- "Jade loves her new apartment above a strip bar on Boubon St until a ghost joins her in the shower" (Seriously????)
- "Faeries are supposed to be perfect..." (No. No faeries)
- "Charmie Belks is trying to hide the fact that she's a witch." (I wish OTHER people I know could do that!) "Sorta hard to do after her parents slap a chastity curse on her for flirting with dirty-minded, non-magical city boys". (hmmm... a chastity curse....No. No witches)
I found one today that would probably be good. It's called Petty Cash. Here's the description: "This is the romantic office comedy that Human Resouces warned you about. What if the smartest guy and the most beautiful girl at the office formed an alliance to help each other get promoted?" (Really? I can't even find a JOB and these people already have a romance at work!!! It isn't fair!)
Ok..here is one that is absolutely insane...
_-"Because Lydia didn't have arms or legs",( What?!) "she shelled out three thousand bucks to a washed-up middleweight named Cap to give her ex-husband the beating of his life. But the beating turns to murder " (of course it does) " and the murder to lust " (But she HAS no arms and legs!!!) "and desperation between between Lydia and an underworld clean-up man. Meanwhile, over-grown frat boy car thieves take up cop-killing as a side hobby". (well that's dumb...) "When these paths cross," (and you KNOW they will!) "a horror show of violence unfolds as they all slide into a hell of their own design," (Lydia has had enough hell...I'm just saying...) "surrounded by the neon and noise of the casino strip on the Mississippi coast. Violent, vivid life at hyper-speed". (Ya know, I'm sure there's a market out there....buuuuut it's not me...and if it's YOU...I'm more than a litle concerned)
There ARE some fabulous writers out there who can really take you away. I love them...and next time I'm going to tell you about them and their books. In the meantime, I am going to be keeping a list now of the bizarre descriptions because they are sorta mind-blowing. I'm doing this so that YOU know what's out there. You can thank me later.